Message Board

Monolingual parents raising trilingual children?

Adina — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:32:13 GMT

Hello,

We have the following situation:
Monolingual parents ( Romanians, with good knowledge of English) raised 2 bilingual children in an English speaking country and moved to a German speaking country when kids were 8 and 3.
We are here for almost 2 years now and have a new baby, 15 months old, to whom we speak mostly Romanian but with some exposure to English as well.

The problem is that our oldest one was fluent in English when we came to Austria and was able to understand Romanian well although speaking it was quite problematic. He has been going to a German school and now speaks German fluently. His Romanian has improved a lot, however his English is now at a much lesser level than 2 years ago .
Our middle one was not speaking English well, she was just starting to speak at 3 years old but she understood Romanian well as well. Now she is 5, she goes to a German kindergarten and started to speak German but the big problem is that even if she is fluent in 3 languages her vocabulary is very simple and limited in all 3 languages. And this is a worry for me.

I have decided in the beginning to speak mostly English with the children and my husband to speak Romanian, plus we go to see our relatives in Romania twice a year so their Romanian is better than before however English is suffering
. I try to speak it as much as I can but I kind of got stuck and I feel like I am not using a rich vocabulary either.
With my 15 months old baby I decided to speak only Romanian and socialize with English speaking mums once a week.

I feel like my children will forget the English they used to know and I don;t know what to do to help? Should I try to change their schools to a bilingual one, even if that would be a hassle for us logistically?
I am quite confused.....

Forum: Your Questions -- General

help! I really miss my language!!!

elizabeth — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:50:58 GMT

Hi,

I am a monolingual English speaking parent who is about intermediate in Spanish. My husband only speaks English. Starting in August and until recently I was speaking to my two year old mostly in Spanish, while my husband speaks to him in English. He also goes to an English speaking daycare and we live in Baltimore in an overwhelmingly English area. He picked up understanding Spanish quickly but since, when I started this he was already speech delayed (not due to other languages) he is not really saying many words. We plan to have him evaluated soon.

Anyway, about a month ago I started to really miss speaking to him in English and then a couple of weeks ago he got sick with H1N1 flu and I got sick as well. At this point I stopped speaking to him in Spanish as it was just too much effort for me when I was sick. I am now better and contemplating starting back up again BUT this is the problem...

I REALLY miss interacting with him in my native language. I am an English major, a teacher, and a lover of books and especially children's books, and I am the more verbal one in the family compared to my husband and I just really miss sharing the richness of my own language with my little boy. There are only so many ways I can express myself in Spanish though I am studying all the time to get better. Also I do feel my husband is not as deliberate in speaking to my son who is speech delayed and I feel he needs a more concerted effort to push him to be verbal in English.

On the other hand I desperately want him to be fluent in another language. I have struggled with learning another language as an adult and to see him understand so much Spanish after such a short time is amazing and a true gift to him.

Here is my question- do you think I could choose a time /times to speak to him in my native language so I don't feel so stressed about him not getting enough English and so I can share with him my love of my language? What amount of time would be good? I know the more of the other language the better in terms of him becoming fluent but in light of my issues is there a good compromise? In past weeks I was speaking to him in Spanish about 2-3 hours a night during the week after daycare and all day on the weekend days though his father was around and of course spoke to him in English as well. He probably got about 20-30 hours a week depending on how much his dad was watching him during those periods. I 've contemplated speaking to him in Spanish during the week and English during the weekend or vice versa or all in Spanish except one weekend day where I would speak Spanish, etc.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Or should I just keep speaking only in Spanish?

Thanks,
elizabeth

Forum: Non-native Speakers

what language should father and mother speak to each other

jimmy — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:35:16 GMT

i'm an american married to a dutch woman and living in the netherlands. i speak english to my 9 month old son and my wife speaks dutch. my question is, what language should my wife and i speak to each other? we have be doing it like this... she speaks dutch to me and i speak english back to her, but i'm afraid that that is confusing to my son.

any help would really be appreciated.

Forum: Family Language Systems

Help for a Child Development class

Aida — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:04:11 GMT

Hello everyone. My name is Aida and I am a college student who is currently taking a child development class. We have a research project in that class and the topic I chose was bilingual children. Part of my project involves a questionnaire/ survey of parents of bilingual children and I was hoping a few of you would be able to help me by answering the questionnaire below. Thank you soooooo much for your time. =)

If you would like to participate but feel uncomfortable posting this information on this thread, my email is aidaelnatour at gmail dot com

Age of the child:

Languages spoken
Majority Language (the one spoken in the country you are living):
Minority Language (the language you are teaching):

How fluent are you planning for you child to be in the minority language? Would you like them to only speak and understand the language or will you also be teaching them to read and write?

Are you just focusing on developing the minority language or will you also be trying to develop the majority language?

Does your child attend a day care, preschool, or kindergarten?
Does any part of it involve the minority language or is it all in the majority language?

If your child is a little older, does s/he take any classes in the minority language?

Does your community (relatives, friends, neighbors, etc.) speak in the minority language or the majority language?
If your community is not in the minority language do you do anything such as finding playmates, etc to expose your language to the child? How often?

Which method do you use teach your child the language?
One Parent, One Language Method (each parent speaks a different language with the child)
Minority Language at Home Method (Both parents speaks the minority language)
Other (Please explain)

How often do you read to your child?

Do you read to your child in:
Only/ mostly minority language
Equally in the minority language and English
Only/ mostly in English

When you pick books to read for your child what do you look for in a book to improve your childs language development?

Do you use any computer programs to aid in the development of your childs languages? In which languages? What parts of their languages are you trying to develop using the programs?

Do you play any games/ sing songs to help develop your childs languages? What types of games or songs do you play? What parts of the language do you try to develop with the games/songs?

Do you use TV and videos to develop your childs minority language? What types of shows/ videos do you show (educational or regular shows)?

How consistent are you with keeping up with the plans you have for developing your childs language abilities?

What do you feel is the most important activity in developing your childs language?

So far, what has been the hardest part to be able to do in helping your child to become bilingual? What has been the easiest?

Forum: Your Questions -- General

One parent speaks 3 languages, want to teach the 2 minority language to toddler

Lilian — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:48:41 GMT

Hi,

My husband and I are both Chinese American living in the US, with my husband speaking English only (born and raised in US) and I speak English predominantly. I also speak intermediate Chinese (learned from my parents) and intermediate French (learned from school and lived in France as a young adult).

I have an almost 3 year old daughter and a 4 month old baby and would like to teach them both Chinese and French (in addition to English which she is learning with no problem). Since I am the only one that knows Chinese and French, how can I teach my daughters the two languages? I was initially teaching my daughter by telling her each thing can be said in different ways..(thus the three languages), but then I heard it's better to use a situational approach (ie morning speak Chinese, afternoon French and outside English). Now the latest i heard is that i should ONLY choice one language cause otherwise my daughter would be confused and have learning problems later. My dilemma is that my most fluent language is English (same as my husband), so really, choosing between Chinese and French and speaking to my daughter 100% in Chinese or French is a bit tough for me. Having said that i don't want to just forget it and revert to english only.

Can anyone help with any suggestions? Insights? Thank you in advance.

Lilian

Forum: Non-native Speakers

Language delay at 12 month?

Miguel — Thur, 29 Oct 2009 14:08:29 GMT

Hello multicultural friend,
We are a bi-cultural couple. I'm from South America and my wife is from the USA (Midwest). We live in the US so we speak English most of the time, but my wife speaks Spanish with almost no accent and we try to speak it, about 20% of the time.
We just had our first son, and we have the "first time parent jitters".

My son just turn one year old and we are kind of worried because of his delay in the area of communication. Basically, we were looking at some child development charts, , and he is right on target on all areas (motor-skills, problem solving, mobility, social, etc) except on Language and Communication.
He only says one word -"dada" -to either of us, where she should already say at least three... he doesn't clap, he doesn't wave bye-bye, and when ask to play peak-a-booh, he is clueless....

I guess I should mention that she is a Pediatriacian so we are overloaded with information and studies and stuff but it's difficult not to think the worst. She thinks that he has a mild delay of about 2 months...

I know that bilingual kids are slower to learn how to talk, but that early? I don't
want to stop our special spanish bonding time and all the spanish baby-talk and my wife singing Spanish nursery rhymes... and we are lucky that our Pediatrician support us in our efforts since she also comes from a bilingual family and is raising bilingual kids (vietnamesse-american), but how much should we worry?

Any experiences would be useful.

Looking for symphaty in KC,

Miguel

Forum: Your Questions -- General

How can mother do smart separartion between mL@H and outside language?

Anna — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:04:30 GMT

Probably, I have a very typical situation, but I could not find answers for all my questions. Could you, please, help me organize my ideas for introducing several languages in my head?
Let's me explain what I did so far. I am living in USA, but me and my husband (and all other relatives) speak Russian. My baby is 1.5 years old. Most of my friends and all relatives speaks Russian. I asked everyone to speak to the baby only in Russian (without mixing languages). However, when we go to a play ground or to a store, I need to speak English. Also, on TV we have English news. I started to teach my baby to read on Russian from 8 months (I am using Doman system). I already see results. He speaks only 15-20 short words for right now. Couple months ago I started to have micro sections of English with my baby. I bought English books which I read only on English (I don't allow any relative to touch them and translate them on Russian to my baby). Also, I show him sometimes educational videos on English as well, so he can listen correct pronunciation. Most of my relatives want me stop to my mini English sections with my baby because they afraid that he will lose Russian at school. Also I want to teach my baby other languages in a year as well, but I afraid that he will mix all of them.
Questions:
1) What should I do at play ground or store? I don't know enough English to speak with my baby only on English; however, I need to answer to someone questions.
2) How can I separate my English sections from Russian sections during my time with baby? Right now I let my baby to decide. If he brings English book or cards from our "English shelf" then I read and speak on English. All other time I speak on Russian. Is a better for me to have a specific corner in the room for English?
3) When should I start teach my baby to read on English? He already pay attention to all written words, but in outside world everything is written on English. So I read them on English. From one side, he wants to polish his reading skills. From another side, he does not so familiar with English and English characters. Again, I am afraid to mix two languages. I started for a week and then I stopped teach him how to read on English.
4) I want to teach my baby briefly few more languages, so he can have better start later. But my doctor recommended me to wait with next languages until 2-3 years. So what is the best time? Should I wait when my baby will be fluent in English before I introduce next languages? Or should I start as soon as possible?

Forum: Your Questions -- General

learns words in only one language

Jessica — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:40:02 GMT

My daughter is 14 months old. My husband speaks to her exclusively in Russian and I speak to her exclusively in English. Her comprehension of both languages is about equal; any command or instructions spoken in either language are understood.

However, when it comes to speaking, she will only use one language or the other for whatever word we want her to say. For example, she will ONLY say "kitty" in English and ONLY "goat" in Russian, ONLY "eat" in English and ONLY "more" in Russian, etc., no matter in which language it is asked of her. The language she first learned the word in is the only language she will use for that item. She knows over 20 words in English and about 8 or so in Russian (I speak to her more often).

Is it just a matter of time before she can say both the Russian and English word for things?

Forum: Your Questions -- General

Single Trilingual, baby on the way!

Jennifer — Thur, 22 Oct 2009 19:18:48 GMT

MY STATS:
1. Living in the USA
2. English speaking community and extended family
3. Baby girl coming in February
4. Language system: Trying to figure that one out

Hi,
I speak native English, and non-native Spanish and Portuguese. My baby's father lives in Brazil and I'm unsure right now how often we will be able to visit him and his extended family in Brazil in the future. I would say that now that I'm no longer living in Brazil, I am more comfortable in Spanish than Portuguese. I would like my daughter to speak all three languages, however. I believe that English and Spanish are very important languages in the US and that Portuguese would be important for heritage/paternal family relations. However, since I'm single I'm not sure about the best way to pull this off. I live with my grandmother who is an English speaker. I was thinking of the plan below:

Plan A (Birth to 4 years old):

Spanish with babysitter Weekdays 7:30 am 3:30 pm

English w/ Grandma Evenings/Weekends

English w/ Me Spontaneously

Spanish w/Me Spontaneously

Portuguese w/ Me Evenings/Weekends

The only problem is that Im not that comfortable in Portuguese right now. Spanish would be much more natural for me, especially since I am surrounded with it more here. However, I don't know how else to get the Portuguese exposure. I'm dedicated to doing what's best, however.

Please let me know if you all think this is a good plan or if you have some different ideas.

Thanks!!!

Forum: Non-native Speakers

Any experiences of exposing two languages through splitting them by time?

Asu — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:43:50 GMT

Hi Everyone,

Me and my husband are Turkish and live in Turkey. We both speak English and German very fluently. We have a daugther, Mira. Mira is 2,5 months old and the question is how to teach her three languages; Turkish, German and English.

I've been reading similar threads and trying to figure out the method which would suit us best. However, I have little accent in English and German while my husband has a strong accent in both of them. That's why we agreed that I should focus on English and German, and my husband should focus on Turkish.

In this forum --thanks to which my ideas got shaped about multilingual children-- I found some threads where one parent thinks about exposing two different languages by splitting time (certain days of the week certain languages) but I could not find any stories where the method was really applied.

Currently, I am talking to Mira two days only in German and the other two days only in English. Then two days only in German and English again... I am also supporting these languages with music and stories read by native speakers on DVDs.

I would appreciate any experiences with 'time split' approach?

Or maybe we should support 'my time split approach' with speaking German or English with my husband as the family language?

My fear is to cause Mira to mix up everything.

Many thanks in advance.

Cheers,

Asu

Forum: Your Questions -- General

Monolingual Parents

Kelly — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:05:00 GMT

We are monolingual parents interested in teaching our 11 month daughter German or French. My goal is to start learning these languages and begin communicating with her in these languages. I plan to purchase some of the language DVDs and toys for infants/toddlers. We have two French immersion preschools in my area that begin at age 3. Unfortunately there are no German immersion preschools in my area. Am I doing the right thing?

Forum: Non-native Speakers

How to start with a 3rd language?

Nadia — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:41:09 GMT

1. Country you live in Norway
2. Languages the family speaks Mum - Russian, Dad- Norwegian, 2 norwegian grandparents - Norwegian, Grandmom i Russia - Russian
3. Ages of the children: 1 daughter - 4 months
4. Language system - OPOL

Well,since my daughter was born I speak Russian (my native lang.) to her and my husband speaks Norwegian (his native lang.). We live in Norway.
My husband understands and can speak Russian as well, so sometimes I speak Russian to him but I speak Norwegian to him most of the time. I would like to teach my daughter English as well. I suggest to my husband speaking English between us but he refuses because it feels very unnatural for both of us. We don't have any English au pair/nanny etc. I plan to send my daughter to an English pre-school from the age of 3.

So, should I wait with English until she is 3 when she starts to attend English pre-school? Or should I start to teach her English already now? In this case how to start and when? Wait until she starts speaking Russian and Norwegian and then start to introduce English lessons to her? Or already now have some English hours/days when I speak English to her/ watch English DVDs/ Listen to English songs, etc. ? I am afraid she'll be confused. I really don't know if I should start or wait with English.

Forum: Your Questions -- General

what language do I speak to the baby? Multilingual Mummy?

marta — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:06:07 GMT

Hi to everyone on this wonderful site,

My husband and I are expecting our first baby in a few weeks time. We live in London. My first language is Italian (I have two Italian parents), but English is now the language I feel most comfortable in. as I grew up and studied here. My husband is from Cameroon, so speaks French and has been learning English in the last two years since living in the UK. We currently speak English together, but I am also fluent in French.

We'd like our baby to grow up with good English and French, and some understanding of Italian.

The plan is for Daddy to speak French to the baby and Mummy & Daddy also to speak French to each other to increase the exposure. Then grandparents can speak Italian to him.
That leaves the issue of what I will speak to the baby.

Following the guidance on the website, I want to be consisitent, in which case I should just speak English.

However, I also have the idea that Mummy could speak different languages depending on the context, which is what I already do myself and seems very natural in our household:

- English if I'm alone with the baby or out and about
- French if we're all at home (to support the father with the French as he's now having trouble switching back as he's been learning English intensively!) - Italian around my own parents.

Will that confuse the baby or will that help him to see how to switch and at the same time add extra exposure to the French and Italian? It sounds complicated, but may well be the more 'natural' solution than insisting that I only speak one language to him and then find I don't know what I should be speaking when we are in family situations.

Thank you very much for your comments,
marta

Forum: Family Language Systems

Dutch and finnish in Finland

Fien — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:15:44 GMT

Hi,

My husband and i are living in Finland. My husband is finnish, i am belgian. Our common language is english.

We are soon to be parents and i we will talk our own language to the child. So i will be talking flemish (more naturally would be my west-flemish dialect, but don't know if thats good or not) and my husband finnsh. I am learning finnish since 3 weeks now in an intensive, daily course. Is it a problem that i'm not really gonna speaking finnish well? And my husband no flemish either?

Greetings

Fien

Forum: Your Questions -- General

second language or relationship with grandfather?

reuben moses — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 21:57:11 GMT

We live in Israel. My two and a half year old grandson and I have had quite a close and warm relationship until fairly recently, when he began to feel that I was using a different language (English) to that used by all the others around him (Hebrew). He has begun to appreciate that Grandad uses different words for things, and gets status in the kindergarten because he teaches his friends to count in English - but with that he also began to distance himself from me. I can speak in Hebrew to him, but want him to acquire at least a background sense of English.
My questions are whether being the sole English speaker in his environment is enough for him to get that feel for the language, and whether it is worth putting the relationship with him at risk over this.
Does anybody have some experience that can shed light on my dilemmas?

Forum: Your Questions -- General